Social Media Showdown: The ONE Trick That'll Help You Win the "Can I Have It?" Battle!

By Mallory Mattingly

For any parent, the request from a 13-year-old for a social media account can spark a real debate.

The arguments often center around feeling excluded, difficulty in coordinating plans, or accusations of unfairness. You might even question your own stance, despite knowing you have their best interests at heart.

Titania Jordan, Chief Parent Officer at Bark, a technology monitoring service, offers valuable advice on explaining your decision to delay social media access.

1. Prioritize Clear, Objective Reasons
   • These could range from general well-being to serious issues like potential addiction, exposure to inappropriate content, the pitfalls of social comparison, online predators, and the risk of cyberbullying leading to mental health challenges.
2. Acknowledge the Difficulty
   • Show empathy and understanding for your child's desire to join social media. Their social circles often revolve around these platforms, and they might emphasize this point. However, don't let this be the deciding factor. Stand firm; ultimately, protecting them is the priority.
3. Prepare Conversation Starters
   • Have a list of questions ready to address their concerns about not having social media. This approach promotes understanding and facilitates a smoother conversation.
   • Possible questions include:
     • "What do you see as the biggest dangers of social media?"
     • "What specific benefits would this platform offer that you don't have now?"
     • "How would you react if someone online made you uncomfortable?"
     • "Have you heard any stories about social media causing problems at school?"
     • "Is this about genuinely wanting social media, or feeling pressure to keep up with others?"
     • "If you could only choose one platform, which would it be and why?"
4. Consider Strategic Compromises
   • While consistency is important, consider allowing limited access to specific, monitored apps for a set duration. Insist on sharing login details to foster trust and ensure transparency. This approach allows you to oversee their online activity.

Navigating parenthood in the digital age presents challenges that previous generations didn't encounter, it is still possible to raise children without a significant online presence.

Consider HGTV personalities Erin and Ben Napier, who are deeply committed to keeping their children offline. They even established a nonprofit organization called OSPREY (Old School Parents Raising Engaged Youth).

"We are parents dedicated to helping our children experience childhoods free from social media until they graduate from high school," their mission statement reads. "By limiting access to social media during adolescence, we encourage deeper engagement with family, personal interests, and self-discovery. By uniting with other parents in our communities to delay social media use until at least the elementary grades, we can shift the culture and equip our children for success before peer pressure takes over."

Delaying social media access might be challenging in the short term, but ultimately, your children will appreciate the increased safety and the development of essential real-world social skills.

Read Next: Is Social Media Really Causing the Youth Mental Health Crisis?