5 Surprising Parenting Lessons from THE INCREDIBLES That Will Transform Your Family

What THE INCREDIBLES Taught Me About Parenting

By Familyguide, Contributing Writer

There’s a particular moment in the original INCREDIBLES film that struck a chord with me as a parent.

Helen Parr, a former superhero now dedicated full-time to her family, finds herself summoned to the principal’s office. An agitated teacher accuses Helen’s son, Dash, of mischief, claiming video evidence of Dash placing a tack on the teacher’s chair.

Despite the camera failing to capture Dash’s superhuman speed, Helen recognizes the truth in the teacher’s words, realizing her son’s actions are causing difficulties for their family.

This scene resonates deeply with me, as I’m sure it does with many parents. No one relishes being called to school to discuss their child’s misconduct. Helen’s visible disappointment and frustration, even without concrete proof, is a feeling many parents can relate to.

My spouse and I have encountered similar situations countless times. We’ve experienced the guilt, anxiety, frustration, and disappointment that comes with incidents ranging from public tantrums to disobedience at home, even to the point of one child being expelled from a costly private school. These occurrences were far from rare!

The situation often worsened when well-intentioned individuals – teachers, administrators, fellow parents, or even strangers – offered unsolicited advice. Their “quick-fix” solutions often felt like applying a bandage to a deeper issue without addressing the root cause.

Regrettably, due to embarrassment and peer pressure from other parents, we sometimes implemented this flawed advice.

Over time, my spouse and I learned a crucial lesson: parents should only follow sound, proven parenting advice – never poor, unproven suggestions that contradict your personal values.

Most importantly, we discovered the importance of not making long-term decisions based on short-term issues.

For instance, a well-meaning educator, who was also a friend and fellow parent, suggested our energetic elementary-aged sons start taking Ritalin to calm them down.

We weren’t comfortable with this solution and chose to avoid medication. Though it wasn’t an immediate fix, it proved to be the right choice for our family.

Our sons eventually outgrew their hyperactivity. They needed time to develop and mature as individuals. As parents, we needed to slow down and focus on their needs at that stage of development. The quick-fix approach wouldn’t have allowed us the opportunity to parent our children effectively and instill our core values. Although we lead busy lives, this experience helped strengthen our family bonds.

Proverbs 28:20 helped me understand this concept, especially in The Message paraphrase: “Committed and persistent work pays off; get-rich-quick schemes are rip-offs.”

When I reflected on this verse, I saw how it applied to my family situation.

To achieve a fulfilling family life and strong relationships, I needed to invest the necessary time to nurture my family to reap the desired rewards.

Like Helen in THE INCREDIBLES, we had to adjust our lifestyle to ensure we were investing in our children. We realized our careers were consuming more time than our family could healthily manage.

My spouse left her career to homeschool our children while I started a business that allowed me more time and involvement with our kids.

Over time, I learned a valuable lesson: Our family doesn’t need our leftover time. Our family needs as much time as it requires. If we’re wise, we’ll recognize this need and make the necessary adjustments to meet it.

Regarding the Ritalin recommendation, while this medication can be effective in appropriate situations, it wasn’t the right solution for our family. It would have merely served as a quick fix to suppress undesired behavior. This didn’t align with our long-term family goals. Our sons needed their parents to be present and actively parent them – not rely on medication, even if it could have provided short-term relief.

The next time your family faces challenges, remember that quick fixes rarely yield the results you desire. True solutions for your family come from dedicating your time, love, nurturing, protection, and forgiveness.