Familyguide shares insights from Candace Cameron Bure and her spouse, Val Bure, on their experiences raising three children who have now entered their twenties.
“Investing time is crucial,” Val emphasized on Candace’s recent podcast. “Many of my friends claim they’re too busy providing for their families, but you’ll always find time for your kids. They truly value that one-on-one attention and simply being heard.”
Val recounted, “When Candace would attend our sons’ hockey games, she’d question why she was there if they didn’t notice. I assured her that they were indeed aware and that her presence mattered greatly.”
Candace admitted she often felt reluctant to attend due to her busy schedule or the cold weather. “However, I realized over time that my presence in the stands, especially when I wasn’t distracted by my phone, made a significant impact. Sometimes I’d be called out for not actually watching, which was hard to understand initially when I felt overwhelmed with responsibilities.”
“Val and our children taught me the immense value of time – of being present and attentive. They are always observing,” she reflected.
The couple emphasized the distinction between physical presence and emotional engagement. “There’s a world of difference,” Candace noted.
GT Scholars highlights the importance of face-to-face interactions in fostering emotional availability:
Research published in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence indicates that teenagers reporting high-quality communication with parents were less prone to risky behaviors and experienced lower levels of depression and anxiety. Engaging in meaningful dialogues with your teen builds trust and creates an environment where they feel comfortable discussing complex topics.
Evolve Adolescent Behavioral Health advises setting boundaries with a “firm yet loving approach” to demonstrate both authority and support.
Candace and Val strongly advocate for expressing love and physical affection towards teenagers, particularly emphasizing the father’s role.
Val shared, “I have a morning ritual with Max where I ask, ‘Who loves you, boy?’ and he responds, ‘You do.’ It’s crucial because my own father rarely expressed love verbally or physically. I want to provide my children with that sense of being loved.”
Candace praised Val’s consistent example throughout their children’s lives. She stressed the significance of a father’s role during the teenage years, noting the unfortunate instances they’ve witnessed where fathers are less present due to work commitments.
“You can see the strain in those relationships. While mothers are often naturally nurturing, it’s vital for fathers to display emotion and affection. It makes a profound difference when raising teenagers,” Candace concluded.
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